PSL - How on earth did I get so jaded? Life's mysteries seem so faded...

[beyondthisillusion]

She'd survived the day. That was the most astonishing thing. A part of Danielle had been absolutely certain that Noah and Lucia would take her out while she was asleep. Or at the very least, stake her and shoved her in a closet. And she wouldn't have blamed them, really. She'd been prepared for that. But night had come, the sun had set, and here she still was. Under armed guard--she could hear the bullets clinking in the cartridge of the woman who'd been assigned to be her 'escort'--but alive, nevertheless.

Small favors. Although she couldn't help but wonder if she was somehow disappointed. At least if she'd been taken out, the misery would be over. What lay ahead was murky, to put it politely.

For the moment, though, she figured she'd take advantage of being among the Palmers, connect to the mother she'd never known. While she waited for Noah and Lucia to make their final decision about her fate, she contented herself to flip through an old family photo album.

What she'd been hoping to find, she didn't know. But as she turned pages and the clock ticked away, she found herself festering in disappointment.

She didn't look a thing like her mother. She was Miles Remington's kid, through and through.

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[firewatcher]

"I help out around the house plenty," Maria said, sighing. "Me 'n Georgie—well, we do lots of stuff." In fact, since last year, Maria had been in charge of the house while everyone else was out, taking over for Andrew—but she knew she probably shouldn't tell that to Danielle before she was officially cleared. Loose lips, etcetera.

"But I've been practicing a lot," she continued, a small grin starting to creep onto her face. "Andrew just finished his certifications last year, but I think I can do it before I'm fourteen."

[beyondthisillusion]

Certifications? Well, that sounded weirdly official. Of course, everything was in contrast to Miles' style. He tended more toward the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, who cares if it's legal, philosophy.

The answer to that was Danielle.

Danielle cared.

"Andrew's your brother? Well, I'll bet you can too. I'll tell you a secret. Girls do everything much faster and much better than boys."

[firewatcher]

Maria couldn't help but grin. "I dunno if that's for real, but just between us, I'd believe it."

She glanced over her shoulder for a second—Drew could get a little touchy about that topic—but no one else had shown up. "Already passed wilderness tracking and survival, unarmed defense, cryptozoology basics, urban navigation, and basic firearms."

At Danielle's slightly questioning look, she added: "When we started asking when we'd get to ride along, Mom drafted this big list of stuff we'd need to be able to do first—she's a teacher, so of course she did. Pretty sure she doesn't think any of us can do the whole list before fifteen, but like half of it is sports and outdoors stuff, and that's easy."

[beyondthisillusion]

"Sports and outdoors stuff are important," Danielle said, leaning in just a little bit, under Lupe's watchful eye, "but I'll tell you something that I totally believe. A hunter's strongest, most important, most valuable weapon is her mind. Anyone can shoot a gun at a vampire. But it takes someone who's done a lot of studying to know that doing that won't kill them. You need to be prepared to go into a situation and know exactly what you're dealing with and how to deal with it."

Scenarios had been one of Danielle's favorite training exercises. It was one of the few places where she was better than Shawn. Way better. Sure, he could throw her across a room. But she was the one who could save his ass when a security alarm went off.

"Let's say," she said, using the same absent drawl that Miles used to use when he was quizzing them, "a demon caught you and he's going to kill. He offers you three different ways to die. First, you could go into a room where there's a firing squad waiting to shoot you. Second, you could go into a room that's filled with poisonous gas that will choke you. Third, you could go into a room with a dozen starving lions that haven't been fed in three years. Which room is the one you pick?"

[firewatcher]

"Kind of a stupid demon to not just kill me right away," muttered Maria. "Random as heck ways to die, too. Then again, if demons made any kind of sense they wouldn't be a problem, so whatever."

She stuck her hands in her pockets to think. "I guess a lot of it depends? After all, if there's no way out of the rooms until I'm dead, it doesn't matter, so I'm assuming it's possible to escape the room eventually. If it isn't, I shouldn't go into any of them, and try to stand and fight where I am instead.

"If the firing squad is made of real people who are fallible, and not, like, more evil demons, I'm small and cute and therefore most reg'lar people wouldn't want to kill me. Plus, if I can surprise one of them, I can arm myself. Also it's harder to hit a moving target, especially a small one, and I can run fast. On the downside, guns are really dangerous.

"The poison gas, I guess it'd be an issue of whether I could get out of the room. Probably not. I could probably wrap my face in my shirt for a while but I can't use the gas to break my way out, and it probably can't hurt the demon. So, scratch that one. Um... if the lions haven't been fed in three years, they'd be dead, so that seems like a pretty good one, unless they're zombie lions or the three years was hy... hy-per-bo-lee. If they aren't zombie lions but are still alive somehow... I dunno really how lions work, but I might be able to make myself appear more threatening or distract them. Or if I happen to have a snack with me I might be able to feed 'em and make them like me, help me get out."

Her brow furrowed in thought. "So, definitely not the poison gas. I guess I'd go with the lions, because having to fight a bunch of guys with guns sounds like a bad idea, and the lions aren't necessarily out to kill me. Assuming that the whole thing isn't some kind of elaborate illusion or magic stuff. I dunno, what would you do?"

[beyondthisillusion]

Listening to her reason it all out was remarkable. Danielle couldn't help but smile. And when Maria got to the part about the lions being dead, she was about to congratulate her on figuring it out.

But she kept going.

At least, Danielle mused, analyzing and over-analyzing situations ran in the family on her mother's side. That made her feel better about herself.

When Maria finished, she nodded in approval. "You hit it on the head with the lions. You don't feed anything for three years and it's gone."

[firewatcher]

"Nice!" Maria couldn't help but grin widely. "I thought that sounded kinda funny. Dunno what kind of demon would offer me that kind of deal, but the reading I've done on 'em says a lot of 'em like being tricky. It's important to be thorough, Mom says." She paused. "Though Dad says maybe not so thorough that you lose track of the situation. But still."

She cocked her head to one side. "That the kind of thing you run into out there? I've heard a lotta stories from Mom and Dad and Aunt Lupe and everyone about family adventures, but they never talked about you." Maria glanced briefly at Aunt Lupe, who merely smiled back at her. She seemed to have relaxed, leaning against one arm of the chair.

[beyondthisillusion]

It was no big surprise that they didn't talk about the wayward Remingtons. Danielle could only smile grimly. She probably wouldn't talk about them either, if she had kids.

A pang of loss hit her suddenly and she had to push it to one side.

Like always.

"No," she admitted. "I can't say that we've come across demons quite like that. But we have fought a lot of vampires. Some of whom wanted to summon demons."

[firewatcher]

"Yeesh, they must have been some seriously bad dudes. What, was bein' a vampire not enough bad stuff for 'em?" She shook her head. "No offense, but Mom and Dad told me lots about vampires they've run into, and it seems like you can do plenty of bad without going all infernal."

[beyondthisillusion]

"No offense taken," Danielle assured her. Although it did sting just a little bit. But then again, she'd made the same assumptions about vampires as a human.

Firsthand experience was a bitch.

She sighed. "There are just some complicated people out there."

[firewatcher]

Maria raised both her eyebrows. "That's the word Mom uses when she really means 'terrible.' Kind of like when she says someone has 'interesting opinions' or 'a unique perspective.'" Why couldn't adults just say what they meant all the time? It wasn't as if she couldn't figure it out.

She chewed on her lower lip a little. "What's so complicated about them, anyway?"

[beyondthisillusion]

Danielle smiled. "I think what makes them complicated is the fact that they don't fit into the pictures we have in our heads of them. I mean, look at me. I'm a vampire. Am I living up to the idea of a vampire that you have in your head?"

She more lived up to the idea of a vampire that Anne Rice had in her head, frankly.

[firewatcher]

Maria clasped her hands behind her back, standing with the posture of someone reciting from textbook or memory. "'Vampires, like all supernatural creatures of human origin, can look and behave in as many ways as humans can. You must not let your guard down, no matter how un-monstrous they seem.'"

She paused.

"Not really, though," she added, in her own words. "I mean, I guess vampires can be like anyone, but I was expecting a little more, you know... black-wearing. More teeth." She mimed fangs with her fingers. "Maybe a cape. I like the flannel better, though."

[beyondthisillusion]

It was a good edict to live by, Danielle supposed. All the same, she was relieved to hear that she didn't entirely live up to expectations. Of course, Maria hadn't seen her teeth. But at such a young age, she decided it was good to hold off on that experience as long as possible.

Someday. Assuming Noah let her live.

"I'm not sure I could get away with a cape," she said. "My brother could pull it off though."

[firewatcher]

"Kind of a drama-type person?" Maria asked. "I think you've got to have a sort of theatrical personality to pull it off, probably." If they looked kind of similar, she could imagine a brother of Danielle's having that kind of look to him. "He a vampire, too?"

[beyondthisillusion]

Danielle nodded. "He is."

And she didn't add that Shawn was much better at it than her.

"And he's very theatrical," she continued. "You should see him when he's singing along the radio in the car. He looks like he should be up on a stage, smashing a guitar."

[firewatcher]

"Yeah, I bet," said Maria. "Maybe it runs in the family. Drew's been after Mom and Dad to get him a guitar. Acoustic, but still." She kind of hoped they'd do it—music wasn't really "essential," but Maria had seen how good of care he took of the records he'd saved up to buy with his pocket money.

There was one thing, though: "Why didn't he come with you?"

[beyondthisillusion]

The kid was good at asking the hard questions. And there was a slight tightness, a twitch in Danielle's jaw, before her expression eased back into something resembling neutrality.

"I didn't invite him," she said. Which was true enough.

The thing of it was, she sort of wanted him to come. She wanted Shawn to share her desire for humanity, for a connection to the family. A part of her had lingered longer than necessary, just waiting for him to ask her to wait up, slow down, let him come too.

[firewatcher]

Maria's jaw tensed. That could mean an awful lot of things. Whatever it did mean, though... she felt a touch of respect for Danielle. Even if she was coming back to family, leaving family was hard. She couldn't think of circumstances where she wouldn't drag Georgie and Drew along with her.

The million-dollar question. "Whose side is he on, now?"

[beyondthisillusion]

"He's a good guy." She spoke without even thinking. Automatic. "In fact, he's the best guy I know."

And there it was, that unspoken understanding between the two of them, spoken out loud. To a little girl, no less. To a little girl who was going to grow up to be a big, bad hunter some day.

But to family.

Danielle set her hands on her knees, leaning forward a little bit to look Maria in the eyes. "Anything that was ever worth knowing when I was growing up, my brother Shawn taught me. It's just that now, I need to learn about things he doesn't know."

[firewatcher]

It didn't escape Maria's notice that Danielle hadn't really answered her question—sure, that she thought he was a good guy and that he'd taught her a lot implied that he was still one of theirs. But it didn't necessarily mean that, and if it did she would have said so.

Maybe he was one of those "complicated people."

Maria decided on a different line of questioning—if only because not-quite-answers often meant a delicate subject, and Maria was anything but a delicate conversationalist. "Sure," she said, nodding. "What things are those, that you need to learn on your own?"

[beyondthisillusion]

"How to be more human," Danielle replied. Which, she realized, sounded ridiculous as soon as the words left her lips. "They say that there are secret ways," she amended, "for vampires to become more like human beings again. I want to learn those ways."

Ruby's promises swirled around in her mind like pieces of confetti over a windy parade. The promise of inner peace. Losing her dependance on blood. Maybe...as crazy as it seemed...maybe even a family one day.

A normal life.

[firewatcher]

"You really think there's a thing like that?" Maria cocked her head to the side. Far-fetched, but most of what their family dealt in was well beyond normal. "I'd have thought that if you could undo bein' a vampire there'd be way less vampires. I guess that'd have to do with it being a secret, though. If you find it, are you going to teach it to your brother?"

[beyondthisillusion]

"I think it's real," she said. "But I think it's probably going to be very difficult to learn. Most vampires probably don't want to waste their time with it. Especially since a lot of them like being able to live forever and have powers."

Danielle liked a challenge.

Although, she had to admit, the challenge of trying to convince Shawn...that would be a steep climb.

[firewatcher]

"Hard to give up something like that, I guess," said Maria, shrugging. "Guess that's how so many people get tempted into it."

Privately, she wondered if that's why Danielle hadn't said whether she was planning to teach it to her brother or not; maybe he still was what passed for a good person... but found it too hard to give up the perks.

Would she have the same trouble, in his place? No, she thought. Sure, maybe if you got used to having powers to make up for your weaknesses... but she had always figured she was good enough as she was.